Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
