After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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