I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize