did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
