PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
