Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
