It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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