So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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