Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
