Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
