Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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