she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
