at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
