she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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