So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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