We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
