Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize