Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
