I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The ass gains better be worth it
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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