You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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