Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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