"it" just moved
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
