i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
