Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
