he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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