he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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