I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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