Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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