wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
