he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
A+ Viking dick
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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