Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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