i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
