i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
