I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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