I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
