He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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