it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
