You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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