you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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