Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
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