im holly from the hills drunk
i drank out of a bidet.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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