we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize