An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
