Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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