my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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