you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
