I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I think i got beer on your cat.
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