dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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