he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
