I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize