I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
