god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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