he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
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but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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