i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
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I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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