Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
