Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
