I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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