her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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